The Power of Hormones: A Personal Story of Real Hormone Therapy

I want to share with you an excerpt from my book, a personal story that changed my view of hormones and hormone therapy.

When I was in my early 40’s and my second marriage had ended, I moved to Charleston, SC where I live today. I was excited to be in a new town that I thought would be open to my holistic approach to health, which at the time turned out to not be the case but that’s another story.

Events can happen in our lives, sometimes ones that we don’t expect, especially when we’re not looking for them. In my case, I met my soul mate, a totally unexpected relationship. Up until that point, I didn’t really know if there was such a thing as a soul mate and to tell you the truth I really didn’t care. I was content living my life and having a man in it was not on my agenda at the time.

Much to my surprise, while I was in this relationship, I started having thoughts and feelings that I had forgotten existed. And there were some I had never experienced before. I could feel the switch turn on and the hormones started pumping in overdrive. All those hormones that had been lying there dormant for many years popped right into action.  The cortisol and adrenaline gave me a boost (they are good in the right amounts). Then all the sex steroid hormones- estrogen, progesterone and testosterone came back to life. It was as if they were saying the time is right. Who knew that could happen?

You know that feeling. You have extra energy; you don’t require much sleep; you walk around with a bounce in your step. There’s a smile on your face and you have that butterfly feeling in your gut.

It was that feel good all over feeling you want to last forever that I was experiencing back then.

When your life is good, the hormones are good and the whole world is a better place. Unfortunately, sometimes it can end as quickly as it starts.

Two years after my move to Charleston, once again the unexpected happened. At 45 years old, my soul mate had a massive heart attack and died instantly.

I will never forget hearing the words, “He’s dead Roz”. It’s hard to explain what happened when I heard those words coming through the telephone lines into my ear. I really couldn’t comprehend such a statement. My mind couldn’t wrap around what I was hearing. I am sure it was for my own protection.

I had already experienced a lot of death in my life but there was something different about the effect of sudden death.

With the shock of his death, the stress hormones kicked in and my body was flooded with cortisol, adrenaline and insulin and the sex steroid hormones once again went wild. This time it wasn’t from excitement and joy. The brain doesn’t know the difference between what we call good stress and bad stress, physical stress or mental stress.

The familiar anxiousness, insomnia and the butterflies in my stomach were back, but this time the thoughts swirling around in my head were about to take me on a downward spiral.

The shock to my mind, body and soul was so strong my menstrual cycle came to a halt. Of all the hormonal issues I had experienced, the one thing I knew I could count on was having a period. Even though I was taking progesterone, it was no match for the excess stress hormones I was producing.

The absence of menses continued until the day of his memorial service 2 months later. On that day out of the blue I started my period again.  Then in the days that followed, the floodgates opened and I bled and bled and bled. It reminded me of my puberty years when uncontrollable bleeding and pain were a monthly event.

A few months afterward I was sitting in my car thinking about what was going on with my body. Along with the bleeding, I was still experiencing the anxiety, the sleepless nights and the feeling that my body was in constant vibration. I said to myself, “I feel like I did when I was on prednisone” which I had been given when I went through fertility treatments. It was not a good experience.

Then it hit me. No wonder the excess cortisol was still pumping through my veins! The thoughts, the feelings, the emotions surrounding his death were constantly whipping around in my mind. No wonder I felt like I was on steroids!

I don’t know how long I sat in the car but I was overcome with the sheer power of hormones and their monumental effects. What else gives us the power to attract, create, develop, give birth, fill us with excitement and then bring us to our knees with sorrow, sadness and pain?

I thought I knew what hormone imbalance was until I got on this roller coaster ride. I had never experienced anything like this before.

At that moment I knew no matter what I took- bioidentical hormones, supplements or other medications, none of them would be able to permanently get my hormones back in balance and help me feel like living again. I realized I had to release the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that were contributing to my physical and emotional pain in order to regain my hormonal balance and my life.

I had learned from previous experiences that if I didn’t address what was going on in my life, my physical symptoms would get worse and the end result would be some type of invasive treatment. I had been there and done that.

I knew this was going to be a long journey. This was not going to be a quick fix.

I had to take the time to reexamine my life, take care of me and focus on healing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  My plan evolved as I paid attention to what I needed and what filled my soul.

Hormone therapy can be whatever it takes to make you feel good.

Everyday I wrote and wrote and wrote. There really is something that happens when you put words on paper. It comes out of your head, through your heart and onto the paper. Just getting the thoughts, feelings and beliefs I had about our time together and his death were therapeutic and healing for me.

I made myself move my body when I really didn’t have the want or desire to put one foot in front of the other.  I started walking on a regular basis. Just being outside in nature feeling the sun on my skin, looking at all the sights and sounds and taking it all in was healing.

Then one day I put on the music we loved and I danced and cried until I couldn’t dance or cry anymore.

Having close friends was an extremely important part of my healing process. They would let me talk or cry without saying words to just make me feel better. Their presence and support in my life were invaluable.

My dogs were my confidants and they stayed close by just in case I needed them and I did. I know they sensed my pain and having them to touch and hold helped me get through the longing of his physical presence in my life.

Massage and acupuncture became part of my treatment to help me release the emotional pain I was holding in my body. I had amazing experiences with talented practitioners that were in tune with what I needed.

For months after his death I would catch myself standing in the kitchen mindlessly eating without really paying attention to what I was eating or how it tasted. I finally started preparing the foods I loved that nourished me. Many evenings I would get out my favorite china, turn off the lights, light a candle and enjoy every bite. I knew I was on my way to livin’, lovin’ and feelin’ GOOD.

The writing, dancing, music, my friends, my pets, nature, massage and acupuncture became my Real Hormone Therapy.

The waves of emotion came and went for many months. Even to this day 9 years later I still get the tears in my eyes and the lump in my throat when I think about it.

Now, I can look back and know this was an experience for me to learn the true meaning of hormones and Real Hormone Therapy. It was a lesson in holistic hormonal health, which encompasses the connection between the mind, body and soul.

It is the reason I know hormone imbalance is an opportunity for you to take charge of your health, get in touch with who you really are, know what is important to you, evaluate what you really want in your life and live your life on purpose. It is a journey of the soul.

This is an example of what I call Real Hormone Therapy. If you or someone you know is ready to start Livin’, Lovin’ and Feelin’ GOOD sign up for the coaching package that meets your needs. You owe it to yourself and the world.

©2009 Rosalyn Adams